Jonathan James Kots

Just wow. The thought of this man feeling like there is no other option than commit suicide BAFFLES MY MIND! You truly can Never tell what is really going on in someone else's world... and therefore we should always check our loved ones per

sonal level of safety so that we can discontinue the loss felt on this planet due to suicide. 
I have learned in what has felt like a very short time that one second, it is possible to feel like you are busting your ass to be sure that someone you love Infinitely is enjoying life to it's fullest and then 1/2 a second later... they are gone. Just gone. Nothing you can do about it besides search for answers that will never be there. That look in those eyes will never be here again.
PLEASE ignore the politics long enough to ask anyone you care about if they are really ok and in no present danger. People ask me all the time and it'ss because of being asked, I know that I am loved and SAFE. Nothing to say excepts thanks for asking. 
God Bless Jonathan's friends and family on this day. Nothing but love and respect headed your way!

Jonathan James Kotz - Age 18

Cha Cha Christmas

Cha Cha Christmas

the hand

Account

The history of my stupidity would fill many volumes.

Some would be devoted to acting against consciousness,
Like the flight of a moth which, had it known,
Would have tended nevertheless toward the candle's flame.

Others would deal with ways to silence anxiety,
The little whisper which, though a warning, is ignored.

I would deal separately with satisfaction and pride,
The time when I was among their adherents
Who strut victoriously, unsuspecting.

But all of them would have one subject, desire,
If only my own -- but no, not at all: alas,
I was driven because I wanted to be like others.
I was afraid of what was wild and indecent in me.

The history of my stupidity will not be written.
For one thing, it's late. And the truth is laborious.

My whole family thinks so...

Challenge Uncertainty

1)      Always challenge certainty, especially your own

2)      Excellence is an unrelenting struggle but it is also the surest route to enduring satisfaction

3)      Emotions are contagious so it pays to know what you’re feeling

4)      When in doubt ask yourself, “how would I behave here at my best?”

5)      If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you’ll love what you do

6)      You need less that you think you do

7)      Accept yourself exactly as you are but never stop trying to learn and grow

8)      Meaning isn’t something you discover, it’s something you create, one step at a time

9)      You can’t change what you don’t notice and not noticing won’t make it go away

10)   When in doubt, take responsibility

 

Good news??? Uncomfort

So we got the information on the organ recipients from my brother Jason. I expected that hearing about the good fortune of these individuals would lessen the pain my mom and I are still feeling from the loss of him, but I remain uncomforted. Uncomfortable is a good word for the day. Woke up uncomfortable in my own skin due to the doc weaning me off a medication. So, everything is uncomfortable. I need to be comfortable knowing that Jay's life continues through the life of others. Specifically: a 57 year old woman who received Jay's liver. A 71 year old woman who received his left kidney. A 62 year old gentleman who received his right kidney. And a 27 year old man who received his lungs. God bless each of these people. But God bless us as well as we come to accept losing the one and only brother I have / had. Not even two months later, how can we? A new life has begun for the Cunningham's.... we are getting smaller and smaller. Humbled by the loss of many loved ones. Not one of these loved ones was unaffected by organ transplantation themselves. It seems to be the one battle we all have to tackle while on this planet. I won't be ready to tackle my own organ transplant battle until I'm comfortable with the ones in my present and past time.

Mom says that dinner's ready. I'm comfortable with that!

My Teresa

My Teresa

Finally!

A friend with her donor angel

Yeah Teresa!