Nothing to speak of beyond the sunshine of yesterday that somehow turned my smile (if it was there) into a deep frown. By the time I made it back to our house... I was a mess. You see grandma, our Queen, ain't feeling right, ain't being treated right and is in pain. I came in the house barely fighting back the tears cause the one thing grandma wants to do is come see you. How can I possibly explain that I know exactly how she feels... even jealous that regardless of how things end up, she'll get to see you before I do.
It's a good thing you left me a living Angel to live right across the street! I have come to rely on showing up at her door in times of crisis. It's been almost 18 months since I looked in your eyes on my porch yet Crisis still explains how it feels to let my guard down enough for the pain inside to come marching out, forcing me to the ground. I can't breathe. But I hear you in my head, sometimes down the hall, sometimes down in our room and always in mom's room. And because I am still connected to you, as this song states clearly....
You're never over while I'm still on the stage.
So I have no problem passing Pearl back to you. Be gentle... she breaks easily. Well, until she can finally hug you, stop missing you, wipe away all her pain and finally grieve for you no more. Whenever any of this happens, talk to my granny about letting me know you got her so I can rest easy. Feel our moms heart and all the people who miss and love you who have prayers coming your way and help us find God's strength to carry on minus so many important people. I guess I'll eventually learn what patience is.... but for now... and forever... You're never over.
