Account

The history of my stupidity would fill many volumes.

Some would be devoted to acting against consciousness,
Like the flight of a moth which, had it known,
Would have tended nevertheless toward the candle's flame.

Others would deal with ways to silence anxiety,
The little whisper which, though a warning, is ignored.

I would deal separately with satisfaction and pride,
The time when I was among their adherents
Who strut victoriously, unsuspecting.

But all of them would have one subject, desire,
If only my own -- but no, not at all: alas,
I was driven because I wanted to be like others.
I was afraid of what was wild and indecent in me.

The history of my stupidity will not be written.
For one thing, it's late. And the truth is laborious.

My whole family thinks so...

Challenge Uncertainty

1)      Always challenge certainty, especially your own

2)      Excellence is an unrelenting struggle but it is also the surest route to enduring satisfaction

3)      Emotions are contagious so it pays to know what you’re feeling

4)      When in doubt ask yourself, “how would I behave here at my best?”

5)      If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you’ll love what you do

6)      You need less that you think you do

7)      Accept yourself exactly as you are but never stop trying to learn and grow

8)      Meaning isn’t something you discover, it’s something you create, one step at a time

9)      You can’t change what you don’t notice and not noticing won’t make it go away

10)   When in doubt, take responsibility

 

Good news??? Uncomfort

So we got the information on the organ recipients from my brother Jason. I expected that hearing about the good fortune of these individuals would lessen the pain my mom and I are still feeling from the loss of him, but I remain uncomforted. Uncomfortable is a good word for the day. Woke up uncomfortable in my own skin due to the doc weaning me off a medication. So, everything is uncomfortable. I need to be comfortable knowing that Jay's life continues through the life of others. Specifically: a 57 year old woman who received Jay's liver. A 71 year old woman who received his left kidney. A 62 year old gentleman who received his right kidney. And a 27 year old man who received his lungs. God bless each of these people. But God bless us as well as we come to accept losing the one and only brother I have / had. Not even two months later, how can we? A new life has begun for the Cunningham's.... we are getting smaller and smaller. Humbled by the loss of many loved ones. Not one of these loved ones was unaffected by organ transplantation themselves. It seems to be the one battle we all have to tackle while on this planet. I won't be ready to tackle my own organ transplant battle until I'm comfortable with the ones in my present and past time.

Mom says that dinner's ready. I'm comfortable with that!